-- understanding the anatomy of jealousy --
 

So many relationships are ruined or tainted by poor communication, possessiveness and jealousy.  A major part of understanding how to combat this is first understanding the common anatomy of these undesirable occurrences.  Once understood, the individual concerned with self awareness will be on guard for the signs of these things starting in a relationship (of any sort).

1.             Possession poses a universal question regarding the right or ability of an entity to own anything more than their own self determination. 

2.             For an entity to claim possession of a physical item which in raw material or current form physically both predates and [will] postdate them is an exercise in absurdity.  Nevertheless, possession of physical items is an apparent mandate of the society in which we exist.

3.             A serious problem arises when one entity deems themselves possessor of another entity.  This concept is a pinnacle of self delusional irrationality. 

4.             One entity can not be possessed by another, especially in the physical existence which as the physical reflection of the energetic state which does not belong to the physical reflection itself, but rather to both the energetic original and the creative pool from which they arise.

5.             Those who feel possessiveness express a base instinct to own another but lack the humanity to understand and recognise that the other person can not be owned. This base instinct arises primarily from a displaced feeling of physical or achievement inadequacy which may have its roots in either real or perceived experience.

6.             To overcome possessiveness, an individual must recognise that they can not truly own anything beyond themselves, their decisions and mindset.  Those who deny this logic are in and of themselves proving the argument by choosing their own ideas and thoughts to express their individuality and self determinism, but denying the same right of another.

7.             In recognising that another has self deterministic rights, they annul the basic precepts under which possessiveness is illogically based.

8.             The emotion of jealousy arises from a basic insecurity rooted in a desperation of need of either validation or security.  When one experiences jealousy, they experience a lack of understanding of the pure dynamic of inter-relationship at a foundational level.  The basic precept of acceptance of another as a mate, friend, companion etc. to those disposed to jealousy tends towards possession.

9.             The jealous mindset betrays a strong propensity towards delusional fantasy.  The process of jealousy involves multiple strand scenario projections which all end in a perceived betrayal or similar end scenario.  This type of circumstance is always based in either a misunderstanding of the mutual dynamic of the original relationship or a lack of respect for the party or parties over which the jealousy is aroused. 

10.        Both possessiveness and jealousy are commonly seen together.  This is typically overlaid by a projection of self identified weakness or fault being cast onto the closer member of the entity seen as a possession over which the jealousy has been aroused.

11.        Examining more closely the first rationale (misunderstanding of the mutual dynamic); a delusional mind can perceive a relationship as existing at one level with a multitude of self decided rules and obligations projected onto the other party without any basis in mutualism.  Even when a parameter has been set in a relationship, the role playing mind (which is necessary for jealousy to exist) will project additional rules or parameters as a fait accompli. 

12.        An example of this is in a marriage where a partner has promised to be sexually faithful to the spouse, but did not intend to sever all ties with outside personalities.  The delusional mind may see any interest external to their own relationship as a betrayal of the marital vows, regardless of the intent under which those ties are maintained.

13.        The second rationale (personal weakness projected onto the other) sees the delusional mind role playing the other/s as they would act under imagined scenarios, often with certain emotional or self identifying characteristics deleted or modified for a worst case scenario.  The distrust that is generated in this way is all the more real to the delusional mind as it has been fully rationalised from an experiential base (real or otherwise) as far as the delusional mind is concerned.

14.        The antithesis of possessiveness and jealousy is the only position under which a lasting relationship can germinate and flourish. 

15.        An acceptance of the other person without delusional projection, the belief and trust in the other person’s intents and interests and an open and forthright communication of both concerns and expectations without temperance is required. 

16.        Whilst the level of communication and honesty is difficult to achieve, it is the only basis for any possible mutually respectful and beneficial relationship.

17.        In recognising that; jealousy is one of the few true insults against a person with whom a relationship exists, envy is merely self depreciation turned inwards and rationalised by a delusional mind.  

18.        Possessiveness is a self destructive bar to relationships and personal growth, a person can overcome previously seemingly insurmountable barriers in relationship development.

19.        Those involved in a relationship should be self censoring to the point that they limit the level of interaction with another because they desire to save that part of themselves for their partner, not out of obligation or duty to another, but out of desire arising from their own needs and wishes.